Note To Self

Hope you’re coming along okay on this Lenten Journey.
We are about in the final two weeks of the journey.
Keep pressing on.

May the Lord reveal to us things.
May we experience things in new ways.
May we see the beauty of the cross.

Here’s an old post:
Written on Sunday, 25 March 2007

Some Thoughts Of Today

We are in the last week of March. I am resting and relaxing more as I do what I do. I am taking more breaks. Normally, what I do is ….wanting to accomplish things but I am wearing myself out in the process. Well sister “Susie” has woken up and “smelled the coffee.” The coffee is very strong. By the way, I don’t drink coffee.

For the pass three weeks, I have been doing some things a bit differently… especially on the weekends. I am more refreshed by doing what I have been doing. I am continuing on rethinking my life day by day. I am moving forward into what I believe that God is leading me to do and is creating me to be.

Today, I took extra time in doing some things. I took a long nap this afternoon. I woke up feeling so GOOD! As I reflect back over my day, I noticed some things. I will share a few of them. I came in a few minutes after the first service started today. I am normally in my seat ready to enter into praise and worship with the congregation.

I walk into sanctuary and notice what I notice last week. How others praise and worship God. What I am aiming at… is that I was at the Leeland concert on March 21, 2007 in the MYC in St. Joseph, MO. We arrived about ten minutes late. At first I decided to sat down on a stool…way in the back. There were a lot of teenager and people there.

What I experienced for about 15 minutes was just sitting on a stool and watching people. Some people where entering into praise and worship. [Others were just… I don’t want to say it]. God forgive me. I was not into what was going on. I did not know most of the songs. I could not hear the words to the song….even though the words were on the screen.

While I was there for about twenty minutes, one of the head worship leader in the group said something that I saw. I wanted to enter into praise and worship but my spirit was not into it. It was were I was. I did not feel a part of what I normally do. By this time my friend and I found our “party” who saved us some seats. I thanked God. Yeah, we moved.

What I saw at the concert was some of what I saw when I came into church just a few minutes late. I don’t want to listen to others worship and sing to God. I want to be a part of praise and worship… not looking at others doing what I should be doing. It took me a while to get where I am at now as I entering into praise and worship. I pray that we all will enter into God’s presence and welcome Him in our praise and thanksgiving.

Believe it or not. There are some things that I don’t like about praise and worship. I don’t like to interrupt others as they are in the presence of God. Nor do I like it when others watch others sing and praise God. And especially I don’t like it when I am interrupted as I am trying to give my all to God during praise and worship. I believe that God wants us to worship Him. We should not be “onlookers.” or “distracters.”

Now, I am at the point when I am interrupted in praise and worship especially at church, I have to brace myself. When I am at church, I could move from “my spot”. I have thought about it. But I am still where I am. Lord help me.

I could be bold enough to tell others who do this that it irritates me when they do what they do… I thank God for the ones who do not interrupt other in praise and worship. Right now, I am just enduring this when it happens to me. I am learning from what I am experiencing. I say Lord, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.

Most of my friends that know me, know not to sit by me to closely. They know that I need room to praise and worship. I do get a bit “wild” at times. Not too many people sit by me. I say only the “bold” and “courageous” are the ones who sit near by me. There was a time when I hit a guy who was about 6′ 3″ in the head. He does not sit in front of me no more.

Well, I have some other thoughts but, I don’t want to share them. I believe I have said enough. I am rethinking my life. I had some thoughts to do some things today. I said to myself NO! I am not going there. There are things I have to say NO to. If I am wrong, I believe that the Lord will forgive me. I will repent and move on.

Yeah, today’s message in church was a “word” in season. About Jesus, His Invitation for us believers and followers….to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus. Yes, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back …Amen.

Stay on the Journey with Jesus….

P.S. The next 14 days will be a bit different …for me.


About Susan

Follower of Jesus Christ, Worshiper, Caregiver, Love Searching Family History, Lupus Warrior: On Twitter , Facebook ~ Journal on Xanga under the username of Journaling_Susan
This entry was posted in ChurchLife, Lent, ReflectionsPast, Testimonies, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Note To Self

  1. Humor_Me_Now says:

    Thanks for sharing, Susan. I am undertaking some changes in my life as well and more are coming. Our pastor spoke from Luke 9:18===27 which covers carrying your cross to follow Jesus.

    I have never been to demostrative in worship. I guess we all need our space.

    I said a prayer for you concerning the next 14 days.



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