Back To The Heart Of Worship

Happy 282nd Day of 2014!
Oh Happy Weekend!

I’m thankful for the honor that we have to worship the living God.
I’ve been renewing some things in my life.

I want to go deeper in my walk with God.
We can grow cold as we journey on in our Christian life.
There comes a time we need to return to what we need to do.

May we not grow weary in doing good.
May we keep running the race that is in front of us.
May we fight a good fight and be finishers.
Amen

Thanks for reading,
Susan

Notes from Friday, 26 April 2013
Back To The Heart Of Worship

We should worship God no matter what comes in our lives. I know it’s hard to worship in troubled times. We’ve all been there. Still, we have to worship and pray during our low times and high times in life. We should.

I do want to go back to the heart of worship. Worship is all about Jesus. It’s not about us at all. Jesus should be the center and the focus point of what we do in our lives. Well, He should be.

I think that we don’t worship God as we should. Especially in public. I’ve notice that over the years. We don’t give God our best. We seem to go through the motion at times. It’s a part of the worship gathering.

We should worship God with all that we have. That’s in talents, treasure and time. Our life should be dedicated to worshiping God in all that we do.

We, who are the people of God should be worshipper of Him. We should have the heart to worship Him. I know at times we are tried. We don’t feel like worshipping God.

We shouldn’t go on our feelings. If we did go on our feelings, not much will be done in some cases. If I don’t feel like posting this blog I won’t. But, I choose to start somewhere.

I’m a worshipper of the living God. I want to worship Him no matter what. I know at times I need too. Just because. Worship is all about God. Not us.

So when the next time you’re alone. Worship God. Speak to Him. Thank Him for who He is and so forth. And when you gather in the house of the Lord, Worship Him in singing songs, listening to the message and taking communion, remember honor God as Lord. For He is and always will be.

I made up my mind again and keep it minding my mind up. I will worship the Lord no matter what comes. I’m going to the next level. I’m not going to fear what others say. Or how they look at me.

I know that worship isn’t a show on who can out do whosoever. It’s not how much we give in the offering. It’s not how much time we invest in helping others or church work. It’s not about how good we are in what our talents are. It’s the heart of the matter in what we do. It’s our attitude.

We should do all in the honor of God. We should have respect for people. But we should do things to please people or to get something in return. We should do things out of the act of love of God. We are to be pleasers of God, not people.

People can have a good attitude about doing things. But a bad motive in what they want done. We can do good for the wrong reason. We have to watch our motives in what we are doing. Is it for our gain? or is it for the glory of God?

May we check our motives in why we do what we do.
May we bring glory to God in all what we do.
May the Lord correct us when we do things out-of-place.
Amen.

Thanks for reading.
I’m coming back to the heart of worship.
I hope that you do too.

Happy 4th Friday in Easter 2013!
Enjoy The Last Weekend in April 2013!
Susan

Scripture:

And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude and as the sound of many waters and the sound of mighty peals of thunder, saying. “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.”

Revelation 19:6-7 NASB

Posted in ChurchLife, Prayer, ReflectionsPast, Scripture, Testimonies, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Reflectionspast: ChurchLife ~ Conversion Testimony

Happy 260th Day of 2014!

Happy Citizenship Day USA!

This is a repost: Here’s an old blog…It’s a long one.
Written in Sept 2008 to August 2008.

I’m in the process of being saved… Here is were I began.
My journey with Jesus… I still on the journey.

Thanks for reading.
Susan

——————————————————————————–
From where I came from up to the Days of my salvation….
This was my Public Announcement of salvation on 09/17/93 and a little of 2007.

I made a private surrendering to Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior in March 25, 1983.
I can say that I have been walking with the LORD longer than I have stated.
——————————————————————————–

Somehow I just kept typing and I flowed with the words that kept coming. I added some more detail from my email and made some corrections.

My Conversion: Made Public

My Background:
I was born to Baptist parents who were saved. I was my parents’ 19th child, their 4th daughter, and their youngest child. I did not grow up in church.

I only went to church about ten times before I got saved. Those church attendance were for more funerals than weddings. My parents raised me the best way that they could. They owned their own home and had their family business. Both of my parents are in the presence of the LORD.

During My Youth Years: How Shy Was I?
When I was growing up, I was teased a lot. I got mad quick. Yeah, I was a hot head. I keep it in. As long as I can recall, I had trouble hearing. I did not talk a lot outside the household. I can recall only going to “church” at least one time during my youth.

My first remembrance of going to Sunday School, was where one of my sister in law taught. My sister in law ask me to read out loud. Some of the other kids laughed at my speaking. I could not pronounce the words in the King James Bible.

Yes, that was my last Sunday School attendance. I did not like being there. Let alone being laugh at by not speaking words correctly. [This reminds me of the time in KG when I was ask a question about What would Sally do when Dick took her hair ribbon? I said she would beat him up. Some of the other kids laughed at my answer. I felt bad.]

During My Teen Years:
I might have went to “church” about 2 to 3 times as a teenager. I remember the first revival I went to. It was weird. At the end of the service the Reverend of the church ask a question. I can’t recall how he said it. It went something like is. Is there anyone who wants to come to the Lord?

There was one teen age boy who answered the call. He came crying and they sit him in a chair. Two older men laid their hands on him. It was like this teenager had done something “very bad and was in trouble”. I never saw anybody cry in church like that before.

I thought to myself, I don’t want to come to the Lord like “that’ . This brought more of a distant for me to keep going to church. I recall when I went to “a tent setting church”. [That's what I called it then]. That did not leave a good impression on me. I wanted to leave as quick as I could. I lose interest in the ‘Church Life.”

During My Middle Teens to 20’s:
How Was I Drawn To God?
In the mid to late 1970’s, some of my brothers and sisters would always watch “Religious” shows on TV that told stories in the Bible. It was during Easter and Christmas time. There was one show that I watched ever year during Easter.

There was a scene where the actor playing Jesus. This Jesus actor would look into the camera. With the camera focused on this Jesus’ baby blue eyes , he, the actor Jesus said something like this…I will be with you even to the end of the world.

When that moment happened, I noticed something in me change for the very first time in my entire life. It was as though that it was JESUS Himself who spoke those words directly to me. There was an impact that came from that moment in my life. I even remember where I was when this happened. I was in the basement of the house that I grew up in.

It was after that happened I started to read the Bible. It was not a King James Version. It was a Bible that I could relate to. At that time is was The Revised English Bible. I recall that I would hide and reading my Bible. I did not want no one to know that I was reading it.

Then eventually I began to turn from things I believed were not right. I was not into drugs…no drinking liquor…nor into the party life. I was drawn to the soaps. I was amazed by UFO’s stories. I love hearing stories of the unexplain mysteries. Stories of things out of the Bible made my wonder more. I believe that there that there was a God. I learned this and got influence from my family.

My mother had a saying that she would always say. “The Lord does not like ugly. I don’t mean a ugly face, I mean a ugly mind, a ugly heart or a ugly soul.” That felt like a sermon to me. My father had a voice to where what he said to me, I would believe. Well, there was some things he said I believe that he was joking.

Yeah, I believe that there was a God. I heard about Jesus. I did not want nobody in my family know that I read that Bible. I was afraid that they would want me to go to church. I DID NOT like to go to their churches. I had FEAR about being there. I felt very uncomfortable in church.

My Dad use to tease me when I got the Bible out. I thought that it was a bad thing that I was doing..I was realized that he was joking. That was another reason why I would hide reading the Bible. [Our Family history was in the front of the Bible. That's why I was getting into it.]

When I was in my 20’s, I talked to God a lot. At times, I heard “a calm voice” in response to some of what I was going through in my life. This made me quest for more about that voice. More about who’s voice that was. I was interested in “the voice”. I didn’t know how to approach what I was searching for. But I keep searching through the unexplain T.V. stories that I would listen to.

In 1989 My Father Died.
About 11 days before his death, I heard my Dad talking out loud. I realized he was talking to someone. But who? He told this person that he was dying. My Dad was calm about it and had no fear in his tone of voice. I thought that my Dad was talking in his sleep. So I tried to wake him up.

As I was in the process of walking up to by my Dad’s bed side, he opened his eyes. He looked over my shoulder and said some these words. “Look at all my people”. He had the most joyful expression on his face. By that time, I was in total tears and sobbing. I know what he meant.

In my early 20’s I would watch TV shows that dealt with death and the after life. What I heard my Dad was saying…. match up with what I heard from the shows. I believe that my Dad had seen in the spirit world. My Dad also, ask my if I saw birds flying above his head. I did not see anything. He said that he did. I believed him.

From that moment on I begin to speak to God in times of need.
Memories of My Father
I ask God if my Dad was dying, prepare us for his death. There had been a number of times when our Dad was at the point of death. He had been sick for about 11 years. There were times in the hospital that the doctors where amazed how he lived so long. [ He was on oxygen.]

In 1989, It took me a while to get the courage to go back to the hospital. It was on a Friday that my Dad was going to be taken to another place to recover. When I got to his room, he asked me with a joyful voice if he was going HOME! I said just to another place.

We made it to that place. This was the very first time that I rode in an ambulance. My Dad didn’t like this place. He had trouble breathing and was uncomfortable. At one time two nurses came into his room…. my Dad did something that I never seen him do.

My Dad got so angry. He yelled at the nurses… GET OUT OF HERE!!! Yeah, I took off too. I went over by the window and started to cry. My Dad called for me to sit down in the chair next to his bed.

He did something that he never done before. He ask me for my hand. He took both of his hands one on top and the other under my hand. He had his eyes closed…. so I put my hand down and was crying. After this, he told me to call “Lu”, my mother and tell her not worry.

It was about the 3PM hour that when this happened. Then 12 hours later my Dad passed on. Before I heard the news. I knew that I knew. Something strange happened to me that morning.

I saw a ball of light come from my closet and I said OH, MY GOD!!…..When I got the news a little bit after 3AM. I felt something leave me. I felt released from what I saw in my father’s suffering.

I knew where my father was. I remember going outside that Oct 7th morning. I looked up into the dark sky. Looking at toward the Heavens. It was one of our nephew’s birthday that day. He turned 2. Yeah, we had a birthday party for Marcus.[We were help raising Marcus...his mother died 35 days after his birth. I was praying back during that time in my life as well.]

Ever since my father’s death, I had become closer to finding out things. I begin on a quest to find out some things. I have been searching for my family history. I begin ever a deeper search for some things about the Bible.

In 1990, I thought that I could never celebrate Father’s Day because I did not have a father. But a revelation that I have a Heavenly Father hit me. I began to read the Bible more and more and discovered radio “religious” talk show.

By 1992, 1993: More Things Came:
I was baby sitting my siblings kids a lot. I had little time to do things. I helped out with my mother and brothers. I did not know what I was going to do with my life. I was in a time of not knowing what to do but wanting to do some other things.

There would be people coming to our doors witnessing about Jesus. At times I did not want to talk to them. But I begin to listen to some of them. I tried to be nice.

I even receive letters from psychics and fortune tellers, telling me that my 30th birthday was a mark of something special in my life. I would response to their letters. I was telling them that my spiritual guidance comes from the Holy Spirit. At that time they sent long letters with a return stamp envelope for reply.

My thinking was on God and was I driven to Him. I spoke things that made me think about what I was saying after someone ask me something. For example: A Jehovah witness ask….Who was the Greatest person to walk the Earth? I answered Jesus. But after they left… I thought to myself that Jesus is still here in Spirit.

During the Summer of 1993.
I was searching for my family history. I came across a lady who’s Great-grand father owned my Great grand father, Isaac Blakey,who was an African. At one point on my journey I believed that one day, I would came across one of family slaveholder’s ancestry.

Other searchers help me out for that day that came to past. The lady lived the in KC area…I told her but she did not believe me at first. I did mail her the proof that she need to see. She was so happy, she called me to thank me.

My Great-grand father, Isaac fought in the Civil War. MS Union Army. This lady’s Great grand father Y. C. Blakey testify that he knew my Isaac. Isaac had a good reputation as a slave. They even lived not to far from each other after the War in MO. I believe that both my Isaac and Y.C. are in heaven.

July of 1993.
I was listening to the weather report…I heard that there would be a series of rain coming our way. I said out loud with a voice of concern. That sounds like a flood! My nephew, Dwayne was over and he over heard me. He said that I think too much. But you know what? The rain came and so did the flood.

I watch the news like glue.. What was happening around us…flooding. The day before the FLOOD hit. I got chance to look at the MO river. It was very high. Water flowing fast….The flood came…Our city made headline news.

July and Aug of 1993.
We survived the before and aftermath of the flood. Yeah, I prayed…God who is going to help us when the flood comes? We did get the help from surrounding cities and States.

I continued to watch prophecy and TBN. On 13th Sept of 1993, I recall that the Israel Peace Plan was about to be signed. I had chill bumps…I said that it is not time yet for this to happen.

Sept 12, 1993

2nd Sunday In September This was a recent blog: Sept 12, 2007.
I have been in the habit of Celebrating the 2nd Sunday of September each year. It’s the day that I began to come to church. It’s been 14 years. I am still in rhythm of going to church. When it comes time for me to miss church, every time when I have missed, I felt like I backslid.

My unofficial beginning of being a part of church
started on Sunday, Sept 12, 1993.

It took me a while to except the invitation but I made myself go to church. I was invited to go to a Baptist Church where my brother and his wife were members. My sister in law was speaking on that Sunday morning. I agreed to go…

Here is my short testimony of my unsaved life going to church. I used words as how I thought back in the days. Please don’t be offended by how I express my story.

We arrived early to church. Why we went early, I did not know. We had to wait for the service to start. I was wearing my red and black dress. Back in those days I did not like to dress up. Let alone being early for church.

As the service was about to start, we were ask to get out a hymnbook and turn to songs that we were going to sing. By the time I got to the page were the song that we were suppose to sing, I could not catch up with the words. I did not know where we were at.

I forgot how many songs that were sung. I called them humms. I could not hear the words to the songs. The words sounded blurry to me.

Finally it was time for the message. The Reverend of the church introduced my sister in law. She entitled her sermon “Stretching Your Spiritual Muscles.” It was an illustrated sermon. She was using stretchable wrestling men as an example. How to stretch ourselves in what we do. It was a FAITH message.

I made it through the total of 45 minutes service. I mean from beginning to the end. It seem very long to me. I thought that it would never end. I did not know how I made it through the service. But I did. I was well ready to leave.

But at the end of the service… the Reverend of the church ask if anyone wanted to come to the LORD. There was no response. I thought to myself that I was already saved. The Reverend ask everyone to come up front and we prayed. Then we said the Lord’s Prayer. When it was time to go, I rode home with my sister, Freda.

There was a huge banner in the church up front. It read: JESUS IS ALIVE… Freda ask my a question… Is Jesus alive in that church? I SAID NO! I felt like Jesus was died. In most of the churches that I have been to it appears that way to me. Funerals had more LIFE than the actual Sunday services.

Freda invited me to come to her church, Word of Life Church on Friday Night. She told me to think about it. I thought about it. Actually I prayed about it.

Freda told me that Pastor Brian Zahnd had a radio program… I decided to tune in on all that week. I needed to have an idea of what I was getting myself into….

I tuned into Words of Life on September 13, 1993. My first impression about what pastor sounded like on the radio was…he talked LOUD! Boy he was LOUD…I forgot what he was talking about. He just left me with the impression of LOUDNESS in his voice.

I remember one of my brothers asking me if I was going to join church during this week. This was after the Baptist Church I visited. Something within me said NO THAT CHURCH!

By Thursday September 16, 1993. I had made up my mind to come to Word of Life Church. I was wearing my black dress pants with a purple blouse and red jacket. It was cold in church. I kept my jacket on.

We got there about 7:40 PM. As I walked in I notice that the music was very loud. It was alive and not dead. It was not like the other churches where I have been. It did not seem like a church setting. We found a place to set. It was not too close.

I received my welcome from Pastor Brian. I even raised my hand to show that I was a first time visitor on the 17th of Sept ’93. To me Pastor Brian did not look like a pastor. But he did preach LOUD.

I made it through pastor’s message… “The Iron Did Swim”. The service was much much longer than I thought. We had our 3 year old niece with us. She was getting restless. She kept asking me is it time to go.

By that time it was about 9:35 PM…Pastor was coming home for a landed….At that time pastor was starting his altar call, my niece was playing in the chair next to me.

And a thought came to me. It was a message I heard on Insight for Living. It was about on holding things loosely. So I forgot all about my niece, so that I could hear what pastor was saying.

And suddenly something happened….As I was listening to pastor…for no reason at all, my left hand began to have notable pain in it. It hurt so much I had to rub it. I continued to listen to the message. We had our heads bowed and our eyes closed.

I heard pastor say, don’t raise your hand to man but, to God. As pastor continued on with his message, I found myself agreeing with him. My mind was racing or something I can’t explain. I was crying out to God. By this time I was calming myself down. After I got myself together, I heard a calm voice say “raise your hand”.

My first reaction was to open my eyes to see where that voice came from. Something told me to keep my eyes closed. So when I did, I felt a very warm sensation pour into my heart. It felt so good that I looked down at my heart with my eyes closed. Wow! It felt GOOD. [I will have a recap of what this experience ahead in yellow.]

After getting over this….then that calm voice said again….”raise your hand”. Without thinking, I agree and did as I was commanded. During the time the warm sensation came, I only heard “the voice”. I did not hear pastor say to come up to the altar. It was not until I heard the clapping, I awaken to the noise and opened my eyes out of darkness into the light.

I was shaking like a leaf. I did not know why. It was like I was in fear. I got a hold of myself. One of the ushers kindly escorted me up to the altar. I was the last ones to get there. Right behind me was my three year old niece. [She had a purpose in being there. I did not want to put her in the nursery.]

….Yes, Salvation was knocking on the door of my heart that night. Jesus introduce Himself to me. I believe that God got my attention by touching my left hand in such a way that there was some pain. I had to rub my hand. This happened before the altar call.

This is what happened during the altar call; I believe that the Spirit of the LORD spoke to me to raise my hand. [He said it twice.] Then something come into my heart like a “liquid” substance that was a VERY warm sensation. It felt REALLY GOOD.

[After the warm feeling came into my heart, I raised my hand. That was the second time I heard His voice. Also this voice sounded familiar. I heard this voice well before I came to WOLC church.]

It was after the altar call, I opened my eyes from the darkness into the bright light. Then I had “fear and was really trembling” come upon me. I answered the altar call. I believe that the LORD met me right on the spot where I was sitting. Between the 9:30 – 9:40 PM hour that night. The church was located on 3131 Frederick Boulevard.

As I said that I was the last one up at the altar. Pastor Brian was talking to us. There were 3 teenagers, a man and me. The man was crying. Pastor looked at me and ask me if I knew any one that should be up here with me. Something told me to agree with him. So I shook my head yes…. than he said than I will become a minister.

At that instant, I begin to cry but some how, my three year old niece come into my view. So I held my cry back. She got my mind off what I heard. I was more worried about what she would do up at the altar than my need for a Savior. Other things cross my mind to what have I gotten myself into as well.

I repeated after what Pastor Brian led us into praying. I meant very word with all of my heart. What happened during the altar call that give me comfort… was my three year old niece. She took my hand and held it as I was saying the “sinner’s prayer”.

After we were done up at the altar, I followed the man with the Bible. I had some worry on my mind that other would be mad because of what I just did. I got saved. [I could not even fill out the information card that was ask of me. I took it home and filled it out and mailed it back to the church.]

I did feel different that night. We ate at Wendy’s. I had a bacon cheese burger, french fries and a sprite. We even ate inside Wendy’s. It was getting late. We took Chantelle home. I told her mother who was my sister, Mary that I got saved. I made it home. Then I got ready for bed.

Before going to sleep, I thanked God for the day. I felt very different that night. As I fell asleep I saw a garden come into my vision. In this garden, there were many shades of green. It was greenery like I have ever seen before. It was so very beautiful. I just kept looking at it as long as I could until I fell asleep. [During this time in my life, I have not been dreaming for a very long time... just sleeping.]

The next day I told my mother that I was saved. She said I should have been saved 10 years ago. I thought…. Was I too late getting in here? I believe that my life was change when I met Jesus. My mind had changed. I knew that it was time for me to start going to church. But WHO’S? and Where???

I had 3 churches to choose from. Two of them where Baptist Churches; New Hope and Saint Francis. I could have joined WOLC two days after my conversion. But I HAD TO PRAY ABOUT THIS ONE. In the meanwhile. I continued to come to WOLC. Both on Fridays and Sundays.

It took a month to actually join a church. I was thinking more to the church where I met Jesus. But I had a thought of what would me mother think. Why didn’t I join her church. But I prayed and what came to my spirit was to join the church were I felt comfortable.

I believe that I was led toward the church where I felt comfortable. It was on 17th Oct 1993. I was set to joint WOLC at high noon. One thing that I remember about joining Word of Life Church, my knees were shaking when the invitation to join the church was open. I made my way up the platform. We gathered in a circle and introduce ourselves. We prayed I and I become a member of WOLC.

I have been learning a lot about the things of God and how to live since I began being apart of church, through fellowship with the people of God and reading my Bible. I continue to grow in the Lord. I am wanting to know about Jesus and the kingdom of God.

God has giving me some understanding about some things on my quest for Him. I have met a lot of friends a long the journey. I am excited to be a part of God’s church.

Thanks for taking the time to reading my Conversion Testimony: My public announcement of Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

My journey continues…..

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As for today, I like to look nice when I go to church. I like being at church early. I love to sing all the songs that we sing in church. If I don’t know the songs, I hum or do something along with the music.

The services are not as long as I think. It takes about 45 minutes to and hour to just to get to the message. We have business to take care of. I go to church expecting that I will receive some thing. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All of my days of my life And I will dwell in the house of the LORD. Forever.

LORD GOD, I thank You that You saw me coming to Word of Life Church on that day You introduce Yourself to me. I thank You that You saved me. Always be in my thoughts. Teach me Your ways. Be with me all of my days.

I pray Lord, that will not backslid. If that day ever comes, put me back on track. I want to follow You all of my days. Teach me not to walk away from You. Make me who You created me to be in Your name I pray, Amen

Posted in ChurchLife, Lupus, ReflectionsPast, Testimonies, Thoughts | Leave a comment

How I Was Drawn To God ?

Re Post From Tuesday, 16 September 2008

How I Was Drawn To God ? Some of what I will share was on my Conversion Testimony: The Uncut Version. I added more detail.

I don’t know exactly what day or time when I was being drawn to God. At some point, I received that revelation that Jesus is the Son of God. But in all, I was converted as a follower of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God. That’s what matters the most.

I’ve been pondering off and on this question for about 8 months: “How Was I Drawn to God ?” When did I first take interest in God ? What keeps drawing me closer to God ?

I think it was around the mid 1970’s to 1983 when I got my introduction about God. I think that that was when I got interested in Jesus. My sibling would talk about future events that were mentioned in the Bible. Also, I would watched Easter and Christmas stories that inspired my thinking.

I first got interested in prophecy. It was during the 1980’s– maybe early. I wanted to know what was going to happened for our future. The information about the future and the unknown fascinated me.

I watch a lot of T.V. I read magazines and listened to the radio talk shows about the unexplain– especial on U.F.O’s. I started reading the Book of Revelation in a small New Testament. I think that I found this Bible in our house.

A few years ago I found that little New Testament Bible. I remember signing my name in it. I said the sinner’s prayer that was at the end of the book. The day was Friday, March 25, 1983.

I think about that time, I started to read the Bible more. During the late 1970’s early 80’s, I was in a lot of physical pain with my joints. I started to talk more to God. I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

I don’t remember where I got some of my books. I bought a lot of books since I was in middle school. Most of the books were true stories and unexplained mysteries. I even bought a Bible through the mail for a $1.00.

My first Bible wasn’t a King James Version. It was a Bible that I could relate to. At that time it was The Revised English Bible. I recall that I would hide and reading my Bible in my room. I didn’t want no one to know that I was reading the Bible.

As I would read my Bible, I would see some things that I did know about. I tried my very best not to do what I use to do. I had a tempter. I got mad quick when I thought I was done wrong. I was a hot head.

Then eventually I began to turn from things I believed weren’t right. As I was growing up, I did not believe in using drugs or drinking liquor nor even having the party life. That was what I was not train to do.

I was drawn to the world of daytime and night time soaps operas. I had to watch the storylines. But, I love hearing and reading stories about the unexplain mysteries.

I was amazed by Unidentified Flying Objects stories. Outer space things and space shuttles missions fascinated my thinking. I was so wanting to know more about true stories and the unknown world. I thought; How could this be true?

Then these interest led me to stories and things that were in the Bible. This made me wonder more and more. I believed that there was a God. I learned this or got this influence from my family.

My mother had a saying that she would always say. “The Lord does not like ugly. I don’t mean a ugly face, I mean a ugly mind, a ugly heart or a ugly soul.” That felt like a sermon to me. My mother could preach.

My father had a voice to where what he said to me, I would believe. Well, there was something he said I believe that he was joking. I had reverence and fear with respect for my parents.

Then some of my siblings would speak of what they had learned about the Bible. I recall one of my brother speaking of another place where we will all meet with God. The coming of the antichrist and World War 3.

Yeah, I believe that there was and is a God. I heard about Jesus. It was through my family that planted seeds in me. I had the information about God. This got me started to explore more. So some how I started to read the Bible. It might have been the influence of wanting to find out more.

However, I didn’t want nobody in my family know that I was reading the Bible. I was so afraid that they would want me to go to church. I DIDN’T like to go to their churches. I had FEAR about being there. I felt very uncomfortable in church settings.

I remember after my father’s passing, I became closer to God. By 1990, things began to turn. When my father passed on, I realized that I did not have a father to honor Father’s Day.

Then there was one day, I had some thing inside me come to me. The thought, I have an Heavenly Father. I was so happy. I celebrated Father’s Day ever since I received that revelation. I have someone to call Father.

I believe that was the time that I started drawing closer and closer to God. I kept pursuing things of God. I was linking things to the unexplain things to what the Bible said.

When I started to go to church, my quest for God deepen. I wanted to learn more about God, His word. I joined Word of Life Church in October of 1993… Pastor Brian Zahnd, the senior pastor.

I ask myself: What keeps drawing me to God?
There are many reasons. The love of God that He placed inside of me. The desire to know Him, The want to…..

I ask questions and I wonder about things. I have a curiosity about the unknown and things. I always wondered if a person who is not saved have communication with God.

I couldn’t find the answer to this question. I lack knowledge. It wasn’t until last year I came to the revelation that I was saved back in 1983. I didn’t have the understanding of what salvation is.

From 1983 -1993, I talk to God. As the years came, I talked to God more and more. There were times when I had responses to what I was speaking about. This even draw me closer to God. I believed I was saved during this time.

I was saved during the 10 1/2 years of not going to church. It was while I was in church, the confusion of my salvation grew worst. I didn’t know if I was saved or not. I have called upon the Lord for salvation many times as I was connected with the church.

I am learning that salvation is a person. I have a relationship with Jesus. I am being saved by Jesus. Once I call upon Jesus I am His. I belong to Jesus.

Jesus is watching over my life at all times. I believe that He has been drawing me closer to Him since that day I received that revelation of who He is. I was aware of things that I wanted to know. The unknown things in life. I believe that is what’s draws me to Jesus.

As I look back on my early journey, I can see that there were things that got my fascinated to search out more. I wanted to go deeper into the mystery. I wondered about things.

There were things, we as people couldn’t unlock. I want to learn more. I wasn’t satisfied with things that was bothering me. Why don’t we know more?

I can assume that through my exploration of things, the Holy Spirit was leading me. I came closer to Jesus. Or should I say Jesus was making Himself know to me. Jesus had His eyes on me for a very long time. I appreciate Him for keeping a watch over my spirit, soul and body.

As I am journaling, things come to my mind as I’m being drew to God. This year I had some times of uncertainty about some things. I ask questions not seeing answers. In all I am continually being lead to God.

This year is some what similar to times in my life of not knowing what’s ahead. When I reach out for help, I seem to not be satisfy with what respond that I receive. I turn to God in a much deeper way. Even during this month of September, I have been drawn closer to God in a way I have not experienced.

I want to move forward. I have to keep hoping. I have be drawn from things into another direction. I’m seeking God in the process. Answers may come, but God is who I want to know more about. My hope is in GOD.

When I turn more to God in circumstances, struggles and searching to find answers, I receive His love , His comfort, His direction… I do turn to God in the good times as well. It’s during the times when I need Him the most, I grow.

I keep my hope in Jesus. He is the lover of my soul. I’m moving on into what’s ahead. Jesus leads the way.

I am thankful that Jesus has been saving me from myself. I am thankful that I can wonder how I was drawn to God. I am thankful that God cares about me more than I can think.

I am thankful that there are some people who don’t answer questions that I ask of them. I am thankful that God intervenes into my life. I am thankful that I have a spirit that wants to learn more. I am thankful for another year apart of the church.

I am thankful for the spirit that God placed in me. I am thankful that there are people who are loving and kind. I am thankful for those who see me as to what I can become.

I am so thankful on how I’m being drawn to God in all that there is and is to come.
——————————————————————————–
Some Thoughts On: Insight and Creativity:
I thank God for insight and creativity. What God has place in us of good is of God. I receive insights that I know it is not of me. As I thought about “How I was Drawn to God” things came to me that I forgot about.

I believe that the Holy Spirit brought things into my thinking. As I do things that the Holy Spirit leads me to do, I can be a helping hand to those I am around. I have to trust God.

Father God,
Thank you for insights and creativity that You bring to me. May we as the body of believers learn to go on Your leading to help others. I thank You that You are putting trust in us that comes from You in Jesus’ name Amen.

Your people shall be volunteers In the day of Your power; In the beauties of holiness, form the womb of the morning, You have the dew of Your youth. NKJV Psalm 110:3

From the booklet: Thirty Days Of Healing: Prayer And Journaling
“I trust God for insight and creativity as I offer others a helping hand.”

From the meditation in the booklet that I made out of a prayer:
May” the light of God open doors to wholeness. Relationship heal estrangements melt into nothingness as divine light reveals the way of love.” Amen.

From 94 Confessions For Life And Strength ~ Day 88

I am healed!
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. NLT 1 Peter 2:24

Hope that you enjoy that Last Tuesday Of Summer ’08!

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People’s Ages

Notes From 15 September 2009

Peoples’ Ages: Are we aware of peoples’ ages?
Can we look younger or older than our ages? It’s possible. It’s how we “see” people. And how we keep ourselves up that brings awareness…

I can see people and not try to guess their ages. At times I think I am younger than some of the people I am around. I mean, When I learn some of my friends ages, I thought that I was younger than they were. It turns out I am older.

When I share my age with people, some say I look younger than my age. Some look at me in a way that makes my laugh on the inside. I can’t explain it.

I’m not hooked on how old I look. I’m aging the way that I am. I thank God for the beauty that He places in each one of us. Beauty lies in the heart of each one of us.

When my parents where alive I didn’t see their ages. My father didn’t have gray hair until he was in his 60’s. My parents didn’t have many wrinkles on their faces. I could say there were a few wrinkles on their faces. My father lived to be 76. My mother lived to be almost 80.

I think it’s how we live that affects our aging process. The sun is a factor. And what we put on our skin is a factor. What we eat and our lifestyle makes a different too. It’s what we expose ourselves to.

May we age well in the aging process. May we learn to keep ourselves up. May we do the best with what we got. May God bless us with health and healing on our journey in life. Amen!

On The Journey…Peoples’ Ages

It’s the beauty within that matters the most.
Aging is a process we all go through.
May we go through with the grace of God.

With blessings,
Susan

Thanks for reading.

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In All Things

Happy 257th Day of 2014!

It’s the 2nd Sunday in September!
Happy ChurchLife 21 to me!

Prayer for the week of September 14 – 20, 2014

O God, because without you we are not able to please you mercifully grant that your Holy Spirit may in all things direct and rule our hearts; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

via The Book Of Common Prayer

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Quiet, Listening, Still

Happy 256th Day of 2014!

Hope you are doing okay! It’s been a wonderful weekend.
It’s my churchlife beginning anniversary.
Happy Anniversary to me!

This Sept 12 this year was good.
It’s like my 2nd wind of churchlife.
21 years ago I went to a church.
They had a guest speaker. She was a woman.
Now 21 years later, a guest speaker. She was a woman.
I’m in my 2nd wind. Lol

I still hunger for Jesus!
I hear His voice.
Thank You, Lord for Your Church.
Thank You, for Life.
Amen

Quiet, Listening, Still
by S.A. Blakley

Quiet, listening, still Voice, not far away
Hearing a whisper Softly as I pray

Comfort surrounding Peace, feeling awake
The hunger inside Oh, how my heart aches

To be with You, Lord Please open my mind
To hear and obey Teach me to come find

Hearing Your whisper As You’re drawing near
Makes me feel good Comforting to hear

Your voice speaking clear You’re not far away
Quiet, listening, still Oh, I long to stay

Thanks for reading Poem #2018

Idea on 15 Feb 2013 in Upper Room 4th pew right end
at 5:56PM Re read and made some changes on March 15, 2013
and August 14, 2014

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Church Going Anniversary

Happy 255th Day of 2014!

It’s my unofficial anniversary of my church going life. It’s been 21 years in the doing. It’s been a long journey. I’m still gathering with the people of God.

I was invited to a Baptist church on the 2nd Sunday in September in 1993. I wasn’t a church goer. I may have went to church about 4 time prior to that Sunday in 1993. I had no plans to attend church the following on September 19th.

Somehow along the journey, I go hook. Jesus caught my attention on September 17, 1993. Ever since than, I got my mind on Jesus. He’s the lover of my soul. He’s always been in my life.

I look forward for this day every year. It’s my church going anniversary. I don’t want to backslide. Lord help me to continue to gather with the people of God. So far, I haven’t walked away from the church life or from Jesus. I know that followers of Christ have to gather together.

Over my journey I have missed some gatherings. It’s normal.
We can’t make all the meetings. We can do what we can. Amen.

May we continue in the faith.
May we gather together as the church as much as possible.
Ma we as the followers of Christ follow Jesus.
Amen.

Thanks for reading,
Susan

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